The Brangers' Adoption Journey

We feel that our family’s story truly is a testament to the Lord’s grace, faithfulness, equipping and provision. The journey of adopting our son Micah was simply filled with instances of how the Lord equips whom he calls. Like manna from heaven in Exodus, the Lord provided for each need we had each time we took small steps in obedience. Prior to our first adoption, we were relatively financially comfortable, but we also had little to no savings. Still, we knew the Lord had called us very specifically to adopt our son, and to get started immediately. This meant tons of fundraising, grant applications, a very strict budget and even cashing out a retirement fund. But God provided, and we were so blessed by his faithfulness and by the generosity of friends, family and strangers. Our adoption was funded and we traveled across the world to bring Micah home in November 2014.

When we brought Micah home, he had diagnoses and developmental delays to address. We were blessed that in general, Micah began to thrive when provided with the love and care of a family. The Lord also blessed us with amazing doctors at Shriners Hospital, as well as many wonderful therapists, a great orthotist, and fantastic teachers. With their expertise and care, Micah received physical and speech therapy, custom orthotics, has undergone a major spinal surgery, and worked hard to catch up academically. Now our boy is medically stable, independently mobile, speaking conversationally, and is keeping pace with his peers in school.

 

Within the last year and a half or so, Phil and I (Jenn) have had a feeling that another adoption would probably be in our future. However God seemed to leave it at that. No details. No direction. No timeline.

Meanwhile, I have had the privilege over the last few years of learning and serving alongside some of the most amazing people through the J1:27 Ministry (a multi-church ministry our church is part of), specifically in advocating for the orphaned, and serving adoptive and foster families. Needless to say, I have grown and learned so much in that time. The need that exists surrounding the care of orphans is more vast and staggering than I could have ever imagined. This includes the need for many more foster and adoptive parents domestically and internationally, in addition to supporting those families who have already chosen this path.

When I approach families that our ministry serves, or those interested in fostering or adopting a child, my mantra is “Kids need families, period!” That is the reality. All children need and deserve a family!

There are many children in the US who need a foster family to provide a stable, loving environment for them while they await reunification with their birth family or adoption. And ultimately all children will need permanency- a “forever family”. So when reunification with a child’s birth family is not in the best interest of the child (and please let me stress that preservation/reunification of the birth family is the OPTIMAL outcome and goal whenever possible), then that child will need a forever family through adoption.

When you consider international/intercountry adoption, the initial goal would be for the child to be adopted domestically within in their birth country. This is at least in part due to the fact that the child would then have the best opportunity to maintain their cultural identity. This is part of the reason you will find that most children who are available for adoption internationally have a special needs or medical diagnosis. In these cases, the home county has made the determination that domestic adoption is unlikely to occur, and they know that intercountry adoption is the best chance for that child to have a family. A forever family is understandably preferable to the institutions that many of these children would otherwise reside in, even if that family is on the other side of the world.

In the world of “orphan care”, if there was anything to be considered preferable to foster care or adoption, that would be the instances when the biological family can be preserved, or when a family that was once broken can be reunified by bringing parents and child together once more in a safe and loving relationship. And if that family can be redeemed by the Lord at the same time, glory to God!

The point here is there should be no hierarchy with foster care and the various forms of adoption. One option is not “better” than another. There are many children who need a foster family. There are many children who need a forever family through adoption in the US and the world. So, if God calls you to become a foster parent- please do!! If God leads you to adopt a child from foster care- yes!! If you see a picture of a waiting child across an ocean from you and He tells you to go find them- go!!

And if bringing a child who needs a family into your home is truly not something God has lead you to, do there are so many other ways you can use some of you time, energy and/or resources to defend the fatherless! You could help support the families who have made the choice to foster or adopt, or help support and promote preservation and reunification of birth families locally and internationally. And if you need ideas about how to implement a plan to do so, I would love to have a conversation with you!

Sidebar: The Current Need & Response

Locally and on the state and national level, there is a need for MANY more foster families. There are over 100,000 children available for adoption just in the US, while each year over 20,000 kids age out of foster care each year before they can be adopted, placing them at high risk for negative outcomes. Worldwide there are over 15 million children who have lost both birth parents with, 2-8 million of those kids living on the streets. We also know these numbers are probably vastly under reported.

Internationally, many children who are waiting for adoption have special needs for which they are institutionalized. Even in the best of orphanage institutions are generally not the optimal environment for a developing child, and the resulting implications often have negative consequences on that child’s development.

We also know that early childhood stress and trauma caused by neglect, abuse and broken attachments has direct and negative physiologic consequences on the developing brain. As a result of these changes many of these “kids from hard places” will process stress in maladaptive ways, have greater difficulty forming relationships, and will have long term psychological and/or physical consequences. Moreover, the longer a child is without a loving family, the more trauma they will likely endure.

What is most staggering and convincing is when you compare statistics regarding the level of need, to the response. Only 2% of American families have adopted, and according to the Christian Alliance for Orphans the number of adoptions in the US (including those adopting internationally) is falling!

The good news: It only takes 1 family to make a difference in a child’s life!

I know I digressed a bit there, but I felt I needed to provide a glimpse of my heart for the care of “kids from hard places” in order to truly allow understanding of how God lead us to where we are today.

The entire time we were “left” directionless toward a future adoption, God was surrounding me with more people and circumstances who opened my eyes to the overwhelming need for families to adopt domestically. It might not surprise you that I was kind of thinking maybe God was leading our family toward domestic adoption next. And in turn, it seemed my heart began to become resistant to even considering adoption internationally again (yes, in spite of what I just said about there being no hierarchy- please stick with me).

Now, I’m about to get really vulnerable here.

I began to experience some real gut wrenching spiritual warfare regarding my heart toward the path our next adoption might take. My internal dialogue, went something like this:

“Your first adoption process was not easy! You had to bust your tail to fundraise and fill out grant applications, only to wait and see IF God would provide. It would be much less costly to adopt domestically, so wouldn’t that just be easier on you? ”

“I have personally witnessed, time and time again how the Lord has miraculously equipped and provided each time he has called, both in my personal life and in the lives of others, without fail! Regardless of how he calls us, our Lord is faithful!”

“You know that if you begin another costly adoption the world will call you insane! Just look at your family, with your limited finances; the sacrifices you have already had to make and will have to continue. You should be saving for your future so you can be secure!”

“I am not of this world! The Lord tells me in His Word that I am not to be conformed to the world but to be transformed to become more like Christ. My treasures is in heaven and His kingdom is my secure inheritance.”

“When you adopted Micah you ripped him away from his birth culture, from his beautiful Chinese heritage, and you have struggled to provide him with that connection. How could you do that to another child?!”

“...Lord, I pray you silence the Enemy! I know the adoption of my son was orchestrated by you! You have given us the privilege of being his parents when he had none, and to provide the love and care that only a family can provide. Micah has thrived and we will continue to do our best to provide him cultural experiences. Any future adoptions are also in your hands. We will trust in his plan and follow obediently however he would like.”

Looking back, this struggle was a wandering in the desert moment.The Enemy wanted nothing more than to progressively and systematically diminish and delay my obedience, and to distort my memory of the Lord’s guidance and provision during our first adoption. His desire was to make me conform to the values of the world, to place value in riches, rather than ‘a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God’.  He was tempting me with LIES. Satan attempted to use the commands and promises the Lord had given me in the past by twisting them into something negative. His goal was to take advantage of my areas of weakness and to distract and isolate me from my Father by planting seeds of insecurity and fear.

But STEP OFF Satan, because My God has already won!!!

Important: Again, please don’t hear me make any indication that domestic adoption is somehow less than international adoption. I could not feel more to the contrary, as I shared in my earlier digression. Please don’t let the Enemy distort this point! This struggle was about me personally developing a rebellious attitude toward a possible choice which would later turn out to be exactly the direction God was leading our family.

Thank the Lord for His unending grace! He took my by the hand, and lead me out of that desert, sweetly reminding me of his character and truths, and revealed a bit more of the path he had for our family.

Initially, God began to direct that path while I was studying 1 Samuel Ch 16 around the first of the year. And it was no coincidence that the Lord had me studying in this passage at this time. In this passage the Lord departs from the wayward King Saul and directs His priest Samuel to anoint the next king of Israel. God told Samuel that his chosen king would be one of the sons of Jesse. Upon meeting the sons of Jesse, the Lord tells Samuel that he had not chosen any of the sons that Jesse presented to him. It struck me here that Samuel doesn’t ask, “Well what’s up Lord? If you have not chosen any of Jesse’s son’s, you must have made a mistake. I guess you sent me to the wrong place.” But that isn’t his response. In verse 11, Samuel asks Jesse, “Are all your son’s here?” Samuel’s impression of the situation was not limited to the confines of a worldly perspective. God told him that he would anoint one of the sons of Jesse, which he believed as truth, so logically, his conclusion was, “Well Jesse, you must have another son that isn’t here.” The narrative continues and Samuel is directed to anoint David the youngest son, who had been out keeping his father’s sheep. The personal application I received from this passage was to be careful not to let my perspective of any particular circumstance, or apparent limitation throw me off the scent of following God’s will. If the Lord calls me to step forward toward a particular goal, I should trust that he will bring it to pass. Because after all, it is His will. In the margins of my journal I had written “God’s plan cannot be thwarted.”

Later, in Chapter 17, the historic battle of David and Goliath takes place. If you haven’t read this passage in a while go back and take another look. I was completely awestruck by David’s bold faith as he rallies the Israelite army and accepts Goliath’s challenge. David’s speech and actions revealed his faith that the Lord had always, and would continue to deliver him from harm. In vs. 38 Saul chooses to attempt to prepare David for the battle by clothing and arming him to the hilt as a soldier, placing his faith and security in armor and weapons. David quickly pulls off the armor, to face Goliath armed with just a sling shot, as he was a shepherd simply facing another predator like those God had delivered him from in the past. David placed his faith in the Lord.

I was challenged by this passage, which pushed me to examine where I place my own faith. When God calls, do I place my faith in him; in Him who has always equipped and provided for me and my family when we respond in obedience? Or, do I value self-preparation, placing my faith in worldly means of insurance, and only choose to be obedient when I feel adequately prepared for the task at hand? (As if I had the control or my own ability in the first place.)

Do you see the theme here in what God was teaching me here? He was asking me to place my faith in him and to step forward in obedience as He calls. I am not to place my faith in my own capability, and should not be misguided by my current circumstances, or apparent barriers. Trust and obey.

Oh, how slow I was to catch on! In the coming weeks, I had a meeting with two friends of mine. One of these ladies asked me out of the blue, “So when are you guys going to adopt again?” I don’t remember my exact words, but I indicated to my friends that Phil and I would probably adopt again at some point. I proceeded to tell them that even if we were inclined to adopt again internationally, that it would be “at least another year” before we were financially prepared to do so, and I had actually been leaning more toward domestic adoption. It later occurred to me that the good Lord was probably laughing at me at the very moment I made that comment.

In late January the Lord, again in his grace, gave me several distinct moments of confirmation of His plan for us. On the 31st of January I happened to be cleaning out my email inbox, I had the notion to check my promotions folder. At the top of the list was the weekly “Wednesday’s Waiting Child” newsletter from Nightlight, the adoption agency who did the home study for our first adoption. I opened the email and there staring at me was the face of an adorable 1 year old baby from China. I read his profile and watched the video’s of him playing with his nanny. I’m not sure what it was about him, maybe the way her moved, or just how tiny he was, but he reminded me so much of the first images I saw of Micah 4 years ago. This little boy touched my heart and brought a flood of emotions I had not expected. There I sat, previously afraid to even consider the implications of another international adoption, practically weeping over a photo of a Chinese child waiting for adoption. This was the moment I realized perhaps the Lord would call us back there for another adoption after all. It was so powerful that I immediately texted Phil, “*WARNING* Pictures of Chinese babies are making me cry.” My husband, always the fixer, responded “Don’t look at pictures of babies then.”

That following Sunday, Journey Church’s new sermon series on prayer began and we were challenged to select 2 things to pray for each day throughout the year. Well, message received God! One of the things I chose to pray for was direction and discernment for our “next adoption.” Then during worship the band played “Do It again” by Elevation Worship. You may be familiar with the bridge,

I’ve seen You move, come move the mountains

And I believe, I’ll see You do it again

You made a way, where there was no way

And I believe, I’ll see you do it again.

During that song, the Lord gave me confirmation that the time to move forward with our next adoption would be soon, and I made the decision to be obedient at the moment He called. However, I’m only one half of the equation in my marriage, and adoption is a decision that a couple MUST be unified in.

I honestly don’t remember if Phil and I had much more discussion about adoption that week. After my warning text the week before, I didn’t want to overwhelm him, especially if he had not yet received the same confirmation. But I didn’t have to wait very long. Just the following Sunday, February 11th, we were driving home from church after hearing the sermon about prayer and fasting, and tearfully singing “Do It Again” once more. Suddenly, my husband turned to me in the car, sighed and said, “Okay, go find us a baby.”

I was surprised, but elated! This was it. We were on the same page, and God was leading us to take the next steps. We spend a few days determining we were also on the same page with being open to international adoption, and both my boys decided that they wanted the next Brangers child to be a little girl. Micah has desparately wanted a “baby” sister for a while now.

Then we began our search as we did last time- with waiting child lists on agency pages. I also reached out to our former home study caseworker with Nightlight regarding some general questions I had about recent changes in US policies, and the new Chinese adoption guidelines.

The next morning, Tuesday Feb 20th, she had responded and eased any concerns I had. I spent a couple hours that morning looking through more waiting child lists and found myself looking on Nightlight’s list. Suddenly, there she was! It is hard to describe the experience of seeing your child’s photo for the first time. In each of the two instances I have had this experience, I have had a physical sensation that I imagine is due to the Holy Spirit and related to my body being flushed with endorphins. It was almost as if the Lord tapped me on the shoulder and whispered in my ear, “Yes, that’s her!” I immediately forwarded her profile to Phil and requested to view her full file from Nightlight. We reviewed the file together at home that evening. Phil was immediately on board, and we made what at that point was the simple decision to take the next steps forward toward pursuing her adoption!

In the coming days we had her medical file reviewed by a physician, poured through our finances to make sure we met the birth country’s qualifications, and our agency submitted our letter of intent (LOI) that Friday afternoon. Our girl’s file was “locked” by the following Monday morning, while they reviewed our LOI. By the next Monday, March 5th, we received confirmation that we are pre-approved to adopt her!!!

Our girl is 2 years old, and will turn 3 in August. She is currently being cared for by a foster family, and from the few photos and videos we have seen she seems playful and a little cheeky (I realize I’m not British, but that really seems to be the best adjective for her). She also happens to have the sweetest little face with big beautiful eyes, and is currently rocking the most adorable little pigtails. She is not yet able to stand or walk independently, but is cruising on her own, and is able to take big steps with both feet when holding her foster momma’s hands.

We are still very early in the adoption process. Of Friday we completed our agency’s orientation process, and can now move forward with our home study. Thankfully, since we had already completed a home study for Micah’s adoption, we are able to complete a less extensive home study update this time. As we complete this we will begin gathering documents for our dossier. Our dossier must be received by the birth country before August 31st. According to the program director with our agency, her best estimate for time to travel is 6 ½ to 9 months! Eeep!

We have felt challenged to remain very open and transparent during this entire process. It is our hope that our story might be encouraging and perhaps enlightening for others, and that it would glorify the Lord! With that said, we are going to be blogging, and perhaps even vlogging 😉, on the regular. So, stay tuned!

Timeline to Date

	“Sister”	Micah (for comparison)
“First-Look”	Feb 20th, 2018	Nov 8th, 2013
Letter of Intent Sent	Feb 23rd	Jan 21st, 2014
File Locked	Feb 25th	Jan 21st
Pre-approval	March 5th	Jan 24th