God is able, even when we aren't!

Both of our adoption processes have begun with a step forward in obedience to the Lord. For this, our second adoption, we have the advantage of experience. We have already personally witnessed how God is able to push aside every mountainous obstacle, provide every dollar, and equip us to accomplish His purposes. Micah’s adoption serves as testament to the Lord’s faithfulness. So, stepping forward into the adoption of our little girl we know in our hearts that God has got this! But my heart, bless it (yes, in the southern vernacular), can also be so stinkin’ rebellious!

By nature I am a planner, a details girl, a control freak, a Martha if you will. All these fleshly traits fly in the face of those things my Lord calls me to be - faithful, full of peace, patient, self-controlled, gentle. Now, He IS doing a work in me! By His grace and faithfulness I am less Martha, and more Mary that I ever have been. The Lord has been humbling me; teaching me where I am weak, and He is strong. He has shown me multiple glimpses of his might and faithfulness. Still, recently I have become vastly aware of how much more work He has to do in my heart, and of how much more He has to show me!

As far as our current adoption process is concerned, we have been doing some waiting over the last few weeks. Our home study visits have been complete for a while, after which it takes time to physically write up. Simultaneously we have been gathering funds to fulfill the remaining financial obligations associated with the home study. This has translated to waiting to build savings from our regular income and planning some initial fundraisers. The fundraising/planning always seems to take longer than I (emphasis on I) want it to, and this case has been no different. Within these few weeks, I have come to realize that I had not been pinning all my hope on God’s timeline and ability, but to our (Phil and I) own.

My expectation had been that we would reach a specific date last week (one of Phil’s pay days) by which we would have saved funds sufficient to cover our remaining home study fees. I also expected that once these fees were paid, our home study would then immediately be able to move into the finalization phase. Apparently for the last few weeks I had been brushing aside my anxiety surrounding funding in anticipation of this specific date. Well, that date came and guess what? We didn’t have the funds. I. Was. Crushed.

I was actually surprised by the intensity of my meltdown. I had interpreted my composure over past few weeks as faith. But alas, it was actually faith founded in personal ability, not faith in the Lord. So when our personal ability was insufficient, I came crashing down. My poor husband was amazing and responded beautifully. Initially he was a bit confused, because he of course was unaware of my expectations (because of poor communication on my part). But then he pointed me back to the Lord, steady and not shaken, reminding me that it is God, not us, who will make this adoption happen. It always has been!

As He always does, the Lord worked it all out. Our agency has allowed us to shift payments of some fees around to help move the process along, and our family has generously stepped into help. We also finally had the time to get a design complete and launch our shirt fundraiser. It seems to have been well received, which will be helpful in covering those fees we had to postpone.

Throughout this adoption, my goal is to be open and transparent about both the challenges and victories we encounter because I know it can all give God glory. The moments of doubt I have experienced in the last few weeks were not pleasing to God, but He still worked through them. I praise Him for his unfathomable grace and mercy! I praise Him for His sovereignty- that nothing can thwart His plan!

Currently my prayer is that I continue to remain rooted in Him and His Word, so that my faith is found on a firm foundation when the next inevitable challenge comes. I need to be diligent to “put on the whole armor of God” daily, that I might be able to stand. The following scriptures are some that I will have bookmarked, underlined, hand lettered, and posted for quick reference in the coming months. I list them here with hope they may also be helpful to you!

“I know that you can do all things, and that there is no purpose of yours that can be thwarted.” - Job 42:2

“Remember this and stand firm, recall it to mind, you transgressors, remember the former things of old; for I am God, and there is no other; I am God and there is none like me, declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times the things not yet done, saying, ‘My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish my purpose."  - Isaiah 46:8-10

“Our God is in the heavens, he does all that he pleases.” - Psalm 115:1

“The king’s heart is a stream of water in the hand of the Lord; he turns it wherever he will.”  - Proverbs 21:1

“Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.” - James 4:7-8

“He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken.” - Psalm 62:6

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Here is a link to our current shirt fundraiser through Bonfire funds! Men, ladies, kids, all seasons - we've got you covered with multiple colors in each style:

  

Our YouCaring crowd fundraiser remains a great way to contribute toward our adoption if you are interested. Any amount no matter how small, and every single share on social media can help us get closer to bringing our girl home! Crowdfunding works well when many people make small donations. Link below!